The Joy From Being

“Who am I that You would be mindful of me?”

Why do I strive so? Why am I always trying to become a ‘better person’? Sure working on growing spiritually is important; godliness is a wonderful goal, but as my friend James Esteban said, “even the best of intentions do not always point our focus in the right direction.”

I hunger for God; I thirst to know Him more and I long to become one with Him. I feel a sense of urgency in this area. I devour books of all sorts; books that reveal God to me in new ways; ones that draw me closer to Him. This hunger I understand because our God is so incredibly amazing. But the urgency? Why do I strive so?

As I mentioned before in past blog posts, my favorite times are times in which ‘I just am’; times of ‘just being’. One side of me is content, the other side longs to grow… grow as a person and grow closer to God. Perhaps I feel deep down that the ‘timing’ of my growth is in ‘my control’. This I know is not true however. God ‘grows us’ and molds us in His own perfect timing. There is no need for me to strive so. To long yes, but not to strive. Be open to growth, but don’t waste today on longing for tomorrow.

“It is time to embrace my humanness, to love my incompleteness.” ~Joyce Rupp~

It’s okay to be imperfect; to embrace my humanness and incompleteness. It’s okay to not know everything and be perfect or even good at everything.

I’m in awe of the people in life who find such joy in EVERYTHING. We have all seen these people and yet so few of us are them. They are the ones who take delight in other’s talents, who delight in learning something new, who embrace that they do not know everything and even much when you think about it. These people embrace life and all that it holds; excited to discover the world God created for us. I want to find joy in the simple things instead of thinking I know ‘all about’ them, or ‘enough’ about them.

My friend Pam recently told me about a story of a man she encountered in a previous job. He worked in the plant and had such amazing talents; could make anything, fix anything… true gifts from God. He befriended her and saw her ‘stitching’ one day during lunch. He was AMAZED! Amazed… stitching… here he had all these amazing talents and he longed to learn more about stitching; the treads, the techniques, the colors, etc. He took joy in hearing Pam speak all about EVERYTHING. Why do I not do this? When I see stitching… I think; I know about it. Tried it a few times when I was little. Why is this good enough for me? Why do I not delight in the ‘beauty’ all around me? This man ended up using his talents to further help Pam in her beautiful hobby.

Pure joy. This is what I wish for. No more striving, no more longing for ‘perfection’ in myself. Just being… just enjoying and embracing life. Becoming fascinated with EVERYTHING I DO NOT KNOW…. I do not know much… I DO NOT KNOW MUCH…. Wow, that is hard for me to say. I grew up being the ‘smart one’. I’ve let that ‘definition’ given to me inhibit me from embracing life the way God intended. In some small way, you might say that I might worry what other will think if I show excitement over ‘such trivial matters’. Or what if I learn about some 'gift' and choose to not to persue trying it or 'worse, can not do it. No more. What should I care if someone thinks me ‘ignorant’ because I desire to learn more about cooking, sewing, welding, farming, mechanics, physics, chemistry, teaching, writing, singing, athletics, fashion, etc, etc, etc…. What should I care if I can not do it all?! I want to embrace the gifts of others instead of ‘working on mine’ all the time. I want to embrace the gifts of others and not feel like I have to make them my own. My gifts are not going anywhere and are not any less important. God gave me my gifts for a purpose. He gave others theirs for a purpose too.

I want to stop the striving for ‘perfection’ and enjoy the ‘just being’ of coming to wholeness… Joyce Rupp points out that scholars have found that the Scripture verse, “ ‘be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect,’ has been translated inaccurately. The actual text reads: ‘be whole as God is whole.’ Wholeness implies a process, a gradual coming together into an oneness in which all the parts are integrated, but not necessarily perfect… The journey of life is the path to wholeness.”

Let my hunger shine through by embracing other’s gifts and talents… by using mine for others… Let not my hunger be used to strive for ‘perfection’ any longer…

“Call to Me, and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”