An Entrusted Journey

They say that life is a journey; one step at a time down the winding road of life. We start off dreaming as children, often playing the roles of what we see our life ending up like; what we’ll be when ‘we’re all grown up’, the spouse and children we’ll have, the vacations we’ll take and the ‘difference’ we’ll make. As we travel down our paths, we learn how different the terrains are in seasons of our lives; some roads are straight and easy, others are filled with non-stop curves. Sometimes we walk through valleys or deep canyons and sometimes up to the mountain top. Sometimes droughts and deserts appear and other times monsoons and lush green pastures. Some paths we take at leisurely strolls and others we zoom by recklessly going what seems a 1000 mph. Sometimes our entire path is lit before us and other times God shines just enough light to allow us to make the next step. No matter what your life’s journey looks like, no matter what mile marker you are passing, the important thing to remember and focus on is that God is right here with us; asking us to relinquish control and let Him lead. Where He goes, we shall follow. The roads may not always be easy, fear and heartache may strike us sometimes, but when we follow, He is always glorified.

I write this to being to share that Jason and I have been going through a difficult journey in which God has placed before us. For reasons only God understands, He has asked us to trust in Him as we travel down the road of infertility. This road has not been easy and nor will it ever be. Each month is marked with the ebb and tide of emotions; excitement and longing, followed by anxiously awaiting, followed by fear and heartache. When each month closes without new life, a new month begins with hope of one. Infertility has been such a challenge to us both; forcing us to grow in ways, individually and as a couple, that we never knew we could or should have to. While my heart aches, my soul has strengthened. For this I praise God and thank Him for this blessing allowing me to grow during this time. Our paths may not always be the ones we choose, but when God is able to lead, they are always the best! I know He has a plan. I know in my heart that He will bless us with children when He is ready. While I’d love for us to have children right now, I am thankful God is in control. I know He has plans for us and His ways are perfect. I pray with all my heart that time is now, but I trust Him completely.

I’ve accepted that having faith by no means takes away any sadness or fears that come along with our trials. I’ve learned that I can go to God and praise Him while I have tears of sadness, disappointment and joy running down my cheeks. I thank God for the wonderful and perfect gift of my beautiful husband, and thank Him for the times we are able to hold each other during this journey. I long for the day we get to hold our lil’ ones and give them hugs and kisses and teach them about their wonderful Father who loves them more than we can fathom. I long for the day my heart skips a beat as I watch my dear husband hold our children for the first time. I can see them take their first steps, fold their little chubby hands as they say their prayers, and get ready for their first day of school. I see graduations and weddings and grandchildren. Yes, Jason and I can’t wait for our ‘lil’ Frenches’ to be running around. But while we wait for that day, we are forever thankful for each other and the beautiful life we are given.

I am uncertain why God has chosen to entrust us with this, but entrust I feel He has done. God does not allow us to go through things in life without a purpose. Despite our pain, I remind myself that God works all things for good; He will be glorified!

We ask for your prayers and support during this time in our lives.

Dear Lord, our perfect and wonderful Creator. Your holiness and love leaves me in awe. Thank you for the beautiful life you have given to us and all the things in which you entrust us with. I pray we may keep our eyes on you that ultimately you may be glorified. Please be with us as we continue to try to grow our family and raise our children you choose to bless us with in fear of you Lord. I pray for health and safety for us and our children along this journey. Thank you for our wonderful family and friends you have placed in our lives. Despite our desires, may your will be done; we trust in You. In Jesus’ precious name we pray, Amen.