My Final Pregnancy Post - 37.5 weeks

In 29 hours (when I started writing this post), Jason and I will be heading to the hospital to deliver our sweet baby boys! Wow, in just a little over a day we will be holding, kissing and loving on our blessings we have prayed so much for. I can't believe the time has finally come. I always imagined what it would feel like, but I realize that I couldn't back then. For as real as every moment is, the surrealness of parenthood is all around. I am not sure when it will sink in; perhaps when we hold Gavin and Wyatt for the first time on Monday, but perhaps not truly until we bring them home.

I think back to a year ago. It was last March that I started taking fertility treatment in preparation for in-vitro. I look back and read through my thoughts during that time and those leading up to it. I had no idea what was ahead of us; only that God was with us and leading. I never could have guessed just how much He would be with us and how thankful I would be for His ever presence. It warms my heart knowing as we cried out to Him over a year ago, He already knew and loved our sweet Gavin and Wyatt! God is so very amazing and leaves me in awe.

Looking back on this pregnancy, I can honestly say that I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of this gift God has granted us. (enjoyed the process, not the 'unfun parts' of course!) Like every stage in my life, I try to get the most out of everything so I can look back without regrets; high school, college... and now pregnancy. I can honestly look back and say I treasured each stage. Now that it's time for delivery, I feel no sadness about 'not being pregnant' as you hear some experience. I thoroughly love feeling our boys grow and move in my tummy, but I am completely ready for the next very special stage in our lives! I want to watch them grow and not just feel them. I am ready not to be pregnant any more.

Fear... I wouldn't say Jason or I are fearful of parenthood or anything that comes with it. We are so excited to embrace life with our boys. We both consider having twins to be a great experience we are thankful to be blessed with. We can't wait to watch them grown into the young men God created them to be. More than fear, I think right now everything just feels surreal as I mentioned above.

The house is completely ready for the boys! The car seats are in the van! The hospital bag is technically packed minus last minute items we'll be using in the next 29 hours! What a beautiful feeling knowing they'll be here soon!

Fear... While Jason and I are not fearful of parenthood, I have to admit I'm slightly nervous about a C-Section. I know it's 'routine' these days and I trust my doctor and more importantly God, but still... it's a little nerve wracking knowing you'll be cut open and exposed! I pray recovery goes well too. I guess the unknown can make one a bit nervous, but nothing I won't get through. I pray that God continues to give me the peace only He can give. I do honestly feel a little like the special process of birth is taken away from me having to have a C-Section, but I realize this is how God wants it and thus, nothing is being taken away. This is a blessing instead and perfect for our family. It's just another part of life when I realize that God gives each of us what is perfect for us... He gives others what is perfect for them... all is well when we do not compare or hold expectations.

Speaking of expectations... Jason and I are trying not to have any expectations about anything the next several months. I've read many books, have ideas on how we want to do things, but realize that each baby is different as is each family. We will take one day at a time and figure out what works best for Gavin, Wyatt, Dad and Mom. Without having expectations, we free ourselves to enjoy each stage without becoming disappointed or irritable at how things are or are not going.

We filled out Gavin and Wyatt's birth certificate paper work and got everything in order for their new pediatrician. These two steps did make it seem even more real, although still hard for my mind to comprehend! I love signing paperwork for them and having to fill out 'relation' as Mother! What a great feeling!

My mom, grandma, sister and brother arrived today from El Paso! So thankful they were here a little before the boys are born and of course that they'll be here on Monday! Tomorrow morning we are going to have coffee and cinnamon rolls with Jason's mom and my family. After some visiting, Jason and I will be left at home for our 'last evening' before the boys arrive. Not sure if we will try to see a movie or stay in and just snuggle, but either way, we are looking forward to this special time. Then we'll try to get some sleep before leaving the house at 5 am on Monday! I'm looking forward to the adrenaline I'll be getting this week, because without it, I don't think I'll manage. Sleep just isn't my friend and won't be for a while!

I'll have to update this post with pictures soon, but for now, I wanted to make sure I captured just a few of my thoughts before we sing Happy Birthday to Gavin and Wyatt!