Just a Few More Days

38.5 weeks pregnant

Just about 3 more days and our sweet Luke will be in our arms!  Oh, I just can't wait to hold and kiss him!  I've had tons more energy and physically feel pretty good the past few days and have been nesting like crazy.  I think tonight I officially have everything done I need to have done before I head to the hospital.  It's a good feeling.  My mom and sister come in tomorrow; I just can't wait to see them.  

Luke continues to move well and grows in strength.  He's been getting lots of snuggle time with his big brothers already as they both sit on my lap all throughout the day.  I'm getting a few more contractions each day and they are getting somewhat stronger (even waking me up at night), but still nothing major.  I'm considering walking a lot tomorrow and Wednesday trying to see if I can go into labor and have Luke naturally versus the C-section which is scheduled for Friday morning.  I continue to pray and feel more and more at peace about God leading and His perfect will for us.  

I have only slight swelling; enough to make my Aggie ring too tight to wear, but not enough that I can't wear my wedding ring!  My shoes still fit and nothing else major.  This pregnancy has been a lot easier physically than my pregnancy with the twins.  I am thankful for our health!  My next post will likely be about the birth of our sweet son Luke!  Thank You God for entrusting us with your precious son.    

17 Months Old

Last week my sweet little boys turned 17 months old.  I guess in part because our little Luke will be arriving soon, I've been watching lots of videos of the boys as they have grown these past 17 months.  I'm just amazed to say the least.  I'm so thankful God has blessed us and entrusted us with Gavin and Wyatt.  I love watching their personalities take shape and learn who God made them each to be!

Some things to remember from this past month:

• The boys love playing with hats this past month or two.  They still really love all the same toys from last month. They've found a new joy of flashcards this month (shapes, colors and animals).  They have enjoyed playing with the 'groceries' (play food) every day too.  Let's just say the Frenches have been getting full on lots of imaginary food that they serve us!
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• They are also very much into tee-ball, golf and lacrosse; especially Gavin.  Almost everything you can think of is turned into a bat, golf club, lax stick or ball.  Outside we have the real tee-ball stand, balls and bats and golf clubs that they practice with and are really getting quite good at!  And they of course have their own lax sticks and balls!  Inside they use shovels as lacrosse sticks and drum sticks as bats (along with anything else they can think of).  We recently went to a friend's house with a 9 month old little boy who had a tiny indoor baby tee-ball set.  Gavin got so excited, found a ball, placed it on the stand and started to look for a bat.  When he didn't find one, he picked up a tiny rattle, wiggled it around in the air and then hit the ball off the stand!  Wyatt quickly found the real little bat and joined in.  Just yesterday, Gavin, on his own, turned their toy giraffe that you drop little boys through into a stand using bigger balls.  Using the drum sticks, the two boys have been having lots of fun practicing their swing!  Gavin has also made a tee-ball stand out of his straw sippy cup, used a cheerio as a ball, and the spoon as a bat.  Now that's creative!  A note about lacrosse: Gavin always throws the balls behind him when playing lax.  He swings and out goes the ball behind him!  We went to a lax tournament with Jason this past weekend, and Gavin had so much fun with his own equipment and getting to play with daddy when daddy was all dressed up in his gear! (Wyatt's cough was too bad for him to really enjoy like he wanted to.)
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• Wyatt has been more of a picky eater the past couple of weeks.  More than being picky, I can tell he's just learning to express that he isn't in the mood for whatever it is that he's not wanting that meal.  He's discovering he has an opinion, and we're working on how to express it!  It seems some days all Wyatt wants is cereal, nutrigrain bars or peanut butter with crackers.  Gavin's been a hearty eater lately, or at least more than Wyatt has been.  They are still too young to 'send them to bed hungry' which makes it harder in my opinion.  I've be more stern during the day about them having to eat what I serve or wait to eat it until the next meal, but by dinner time, I need to make sure they have food in their bellies no matter what.  We are working on this area though and not giving in to his demands for certain foods when I provide something else.
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• The boys are eating great with plates, bowls, spoons and forks.  They aren't wanting to use their bibs any more which is fine except when they eat cereal because of some of the milk that drips off the spoon, or things like rice which also falls off easily.  They are testing and picking up their plates though which they know needs to be left on the tray.  They are also learning to use a real cup.  They get so excited to drink like big boys.  Wyatt is actually doing very well drinking from the cup!
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• A huge milestone... the boys are FINALLY taking better bites of things!  I thought they'd be 18 years old and trying to shove the whole banana in their mouth!  They still have their mouths too full in my opinion, but I know that's kind of a boy thing.  But I can now hand them whole things without worrying they'd figure out how to stick it all in their mouth.  Sounds simple, but I'm beyond excited!  They also are doing excellent about eating snacks from an open bowl without dumping it everywhere!  I can give them each a bowl of Cheerios on the floor and they will hold the bowl and eat the snacks.  On top of that, they also will pick them out one at a time (sometimes) instead of always grabbing 20 and putting them in their mouth (but this is more often the case still!).
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• The boys have gone through a small phase of testing for a couple of weeks, but are now coming out of it again.  For a while there, they would do something they wouldn't all while looking at you to see what you were going to do about it.  Or they'd do it and then run off and hide around the corner.  Consistency was our biggest thing this past month, and this phase seems to have passed for the moment again.
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• The boys are always amazing snuggles which I just love!  Many times throughout the day, you could find both boys snuggled up on my lap, and always wanting/getting hugs and kisses.  The past week or so though, the boys have been super snuggly and clingy.  Being near me is no longer enough, they both have to be on my lap or in my arms at the same time most of the day.  I'm convinced they sense some big change is about to happen! 
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• The boys are still fascinated by letters/phonics.  Each week they are learning new sounds and combinations, but still no major jumps in talking to speak of (although, they will say some new things very clearly, but then won't repeat it).  Wyatt especially has taken to repeating the words he does over and over these days.  I know he's wanting to carry on a conversation, so this is his only way of doing so.  Throughout the day you'll hear him say things like: 'caw, caw, caw, caw, caw, caw... (for car)', 'dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog', 'mow, mow, mow, mow, mow... (for more)', etc.  
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• We've been learning a lot about doctors this past month in preparation for my upcoming hospital visit when Luke arrives.  Wyatt cries every time a doctor touches his Mama, even though he's fine when he sees the doctor.  Because of this, I thought it would be a good idea to play up the doctor idea for the boys.  They have doctor kits and books and love to watch 'Doc McStuffins' on Disney Jr.  Wyatt is always asking to play 'docta, docta, docta'.  
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• The boys are enjoying learning their shapes and coming along very well in differentiating them.  Gavin is also trying to say a lot of their names and is doing very well.  His favorite shapes to try to say are circle, oval, diamond, star and heart. 
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• The boys are wonderful about walking with Mama hand and hand anywhere.  When we go somewhere I can simply get them out of the carseat, hold their hands and we walk across the parking lot to the store, library, etc.  There are many days we practice this, especially at places like Walmart or Petsmart (aka the zoo).  I'll take them to the toy isle and the garden section and we'll practice the art of looking at toys and listening to Mama at the same time.  Same is true at Petsmart.  The boys love watching all the animals and fish for sell as well as watching the dogs get groomed.  We'll go for walks around our neighborhood doing the same thing (when I'm brave enough to bare this heat/humidity). 
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• This past month, Wyatt has been sleeping a lot during nap time unless Gavin wakes him up early.  He ranges from being able to sleep 1.5-3 hours during the day (most of the time it's about 1.5 hours - 2 though).  Gavin however has not been napping well; about 45 minutes to 1.5 hours max.  He's completely happy throughout the day no matter what his nap schedule was that day.  They are both sleeping very well at night still.  Bed time is typically at 7pm these days, but sometimes if they napped well, it's more like 7:30.  They sleep soundly until 5:30-6.  They slowly begin to stir and are up by 6:30AM.  Naps were about 11 each day, but about 2 weeks ago after they were showing signs of not being ready at 11, we've pushed naps back to 12 or 1 depending on the day (what we are doing or how they are feeling).
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• A couple of weeks ago we brought down all the baby equipment for Luke.  The boys have enjoyed keeping it all warm and making sure it works properly!  
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• The boys imagination continues to come alive when they play; from eating pretend food, playing cars, playing with all their 'Little People' sets, turning everything into sports equipment, etc.  There are days they can entertain themselves for literally hours as they build and imagine.
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• Both boys have been trying to figure out how my iPad plays music and Gavin has been trying to figure out how the TV works.  They look behind it, in front, behind it, in front... The looks on their faces are so cute!
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• They are learning some excellent dance moves these days!  They practice using their feet and legs now instead of just their hips, arms and head.  Also, they LOVE to sing, especially Gavin.  It's the sweetest thing!  I just love listening to their little voices as they get all high pitched and draw out the sounds.  Gavin really loves to sing in the car.

• The boys still love animals.  Their favorites are still:

Both - Dogs, cows, birds and now elephants
Gavin - Sheep and now zebras
Wyatt - Ducks and monkeys
They say the words 'dog and duck' all the time and zebra is missing the z, but for the other animals, they typically call them by the sounds they make instead.  Baabaas, tweet tweet, elephant sound inserted here, guack guack, eee eee, etc.

• The boys love to color and draw these days.  Their favorite thing to do at the library is sit at the little tables and color.  This past month, they've made huge improvements in this area as well; both in coloring and learning to SIT in the little chairs, pull out only a FEW crayons and color.  They see other children still sit on the table and throw crayons out and look at me like 'isn't that a no no?'.  They also LOVE their Magnadoodles.  Gavin especially can play with his all throughout the day.  They draw, erase, draw, erase, draw, erase.  We have little ones downstairs for them to use and their big ones upstairs.  They love them that much!

I know I'm missing some things, but I will have to capture them another time.  In a few days the boys will meet their little brother Luke!  I'm so excited to see all three of my precious sons together!  I'm praying for Gavin and Wyatt's heart and mind as we begin this beautiful transition.  I pray they never doubt how much they are loved and cherished.  My sweet little boys are soon to be big brothers!

38 Weeks Pregnant!

I'm 38 weeks pregnant today!  I'm already further along than I was when the boys were born just a little more than 37 weeks!  This pregnancy has been such an incredible blessing and I'm so thankful for how healthy and smooth it has been for both Luke and me.  While this pregnancy has been 'easier' than my pregnancy with our twins, it's been a whole lot harder too!  Yes, if this was my first pregnancy, I can honestly say it would have been a breeze!  But all the physical strength needed for caring and loving on two little boys while pregnant has really taken it out of me.

This past Sunday my body reached a new level of exhaustion.  It is as if it knows Luke's arrival is nearing soon.  I just don't feel the same as I did last week; bigger aches and pressure and just a new type of fatigue (which makes my increase nesting phase harder and ill-timed!).  The aches, sciatic nerve pain and spasms keep me awake a lot throughout the night this week.  Luke is gaining weight too, because my tummy feels so heavy (I feel funny saying that though because last time I had 15 lbs of baby in me, plus two placentas!).  Anyways, needless to say, I'm READY to deliver!

My last prenatal appointment is tomorrow.  I'm going to talk to the doctor in detail about delivery.  I'm still not loosing complete hope of a natural delivery, even though we have the c-section scheduled for the 17th.  I want more than anything for God's will to be done; I know His ways are perfect!  But at the same time, I think perhaps He might will for a natural delivery...just maybe.  If Luke and I could be safe and healthy before and after a natural delivery, oh how wonderful that would be!  But... I remind myself to keep my eyes on God and He will lead.  I pray for peace no matter what.  I know I'll have lots of JOY regardless of the delivery method!

On to the JOY!!

Oh, I just can't wait to hold Luke!  I mean, I serious am having fits about wanting to hold him right now!  I want to snuggle him and give him lots of kisses.  I want him to feel the love and security for his mother, father and family.  I'm beyond excited about physically becoming a family of 5!

I'm so enjoying feeling him move inside me.  His movements seem so much more methodical than ever before.  I can feel him moving inside just as if he will outside the womb next week!  He's head down and has been for the past month.  He's been moving a lot the past several days too.  Sometimes I feel him facing inside, and sometimes I feel him facing out.  Facing out is always more comfortable, because let's face it, it just feels flat out odd when your organs get kicked.

I've been in a 'nesting' phase this past week.  I didn't think I had much left to do before Luke arrived, but I'm finding all sorts of things that keep me hopping.  All the laundry is done, his room is complete, the majority of hospital bags for the boys and me are packed, and lots of organizing has been done.  Let's just say, I have lots more organizing things I want to get done still.  Perhaps this weekend I'll be done enough!

The past couple of days, the boys have been very clingy with me.  Beyond our typical snuggling, which I just LOVE, they've both had to be ON my lap or in my arms at the SAME time.  Let's just say my lap is growing smaller by the day, which makes this even harder!  It's not just crying if I leave the room; it's a melt down if I stand up to get the phone, fill my water glass up or use the restroom.  I'm convinced that Gavin and Wyatt can sense something big is going to happen soon.  Wyatt has even been rubbing his face on my tummy a lot which is very different.  I've been trying extra hard to give them all the snuggles they desire and reassure them of my love and that all is well in their world.  I pray extra hard for their hearts and minds during this transition.

38 weeks today, and a week from tomorrow I'll be holding our beautiful blessing!

'Back to the Feet of Jesus' : Update

This past week God has given me an incredible increase in peace, patience and joy as I mentioned in my last post.  I am so thankful!  This past week has also been a lot more difficult physically.  I'm at the very end of pregnancy and my body knows it.  Yesterday I was beyond exhausted physically, and after several nights of not sleeping well, I knew today was going to have to be a 'snuggle day'; a day where we didn't have any plans or go anywhere.  So I woke up wanting a calm day to recuperate as much as possible.

I woke up thinking about ME and satan decided to use that as a foothold.

I am convinced the boys sense some big change is going to happen soon, because they are super clingy.  Not just wanting to snuggle or be near me (which is common and I just love!), but they both have to be on my lap or in my arms at all times of the day (and I mean both on my growing-smaller-by-the-day-lap).  The minute I stand up it's a disaster.  And today... it's reached a peak!  While Gavin's actually in a really sweet mood, something has sent Wyatt for a loop.  He's super super super clingy and very upset unless I'm holding him.  We've snuggled all day, but there have still been LOTS, and I mean LOTS of whining and crying today, and it's only 1pm (I could have written the same thing at 9am, but it's just continued since then).

Anyways, I realized my folly this morning thinking about my convenience and need for rest; albeit natural.  I've asked God to help shift my focus instead onto Him and my sweet family, knowing He is already taking care of me.  I'm trying to ask Him what I can do for my sweet boys today, especially seeing how next week will be such a major change with Luke's arrival!  I've recited my Scripture passages I've posted along the house, along with lots of others hidden safely in my heart!

I'm still wide eyed in frustration sometimes, but I'm thankful for the great peace and love God has filled me with.  I'm thankful for the eye opener for my need to change focuses from me to them and God.  I'm praying hard and very thankful!

Back to the Feet of Jesus

At some point these past several months I have become discouraged with prayer; at least that is how I look at in my mind and heart after many conversations and cries out to God.  I came to a point where I was beyond dry and weary this past month.  Now, I believe most of it is being caused by pregnancy hormones at the end of my third trimester, all while enduring the heat and humidity of Houston’s summer and caring for and loving on my precious twin boys (who turn 17 months today!).  But despite this, there was a deeper dryness in my soul that only the Holy Spirit can bring to the surface and use to draw me back and closer to my Lord.

After a few weeks of feeling like I was crumbling emotionally, God allowed me to see that my prayer life had become relatively surface.  I still talk to God every day, all throughout the day, and about anything.  The boys and I still read Scripture and sing songs about God and pray to Him.  But my personal relationship with God was what had become surface and our conversations dry.  Technically it was my part of the conversation that was dry and my ears and heart that were not being still to listen and wait on Him.  

How and why could I have let this happen I continued to ask God and myself?

He slowly began to show me.

I’m the type of person who wants detailed instructions on how to proceed.  When I need to do something, I want to know how to do it and do it right (actually perfect which is another problem in itself).  And the area of motherhood is no exception.  If I have a parenting question, I want to know what the right choice is and how to go about doing it.  If I feel weary emotionally or physically, I want energy.  As much as I hate to admit it, I’m no different than a child in the fact that I want something and I want it now.  And this is what my heart’s prayers were like for a while.  I’d pour out my heart to God explaining I needed energy, peace, patience, guidance and wisdom.  Excellent requests I know.  But my heart was not focused on God.  I saw Him as a genie who would give me the energy, peace, patience, guidance and wisdom just because I asked.  Yes, God always provides, but He does so as He knows is best, and not necessarily on our terms. 

Because my heart was not focused on God, but rather my circumstances, I began to get discouraged when I continued to be weary or clueless about certain areas of parenting.  Although unintentional, this discouragement is what I think began my slow drift away from what my relationship with God was. 

Once God had showed me my heart, I began to ask Him to guide me to where He wants me and what He wants me to do.  I asked for energy, peace, patience, guidance and wisdom, but only as He decided was best.  Since then, He has been helping me in my prayer life again and showing me where to find and how to embrace His peace He continually lavishes us with.  One evening several nights ago after the boys went to bed, God led me to search for Scriptures that were an encouragement to me.  I needed reminders of His truths to get me through moments I refer to as 'the heat of battle’ that every mother knows from time to time; times when days are just beyond rough or completely out of your control.  I found passages that fit my heart’s needs perfectly, printed them out and posted them around the house downstairs and upstairs.  I read them often to myself or out loud to the boys throughout the day (which they love), and make a special point to read them when I’m feeling weary.  I’ve caught myself actually reciting them even when I’m nowhere near them.   (I posted the Scripture passages I chose at the end of this post.)

God has also shown me that I become most weary emotionally and physically when my eyes are on myself and not Him.  There are some days I’m so tired, I just want something to be convenient, and let’s face it, not too many areas of motherhood are convenient.  It requires a lot of consistent effort and love no matter how you are feeling that day.  But through prayer, God has helped me keep my eyes focused on Him and His will instead of myself.  I realize now that God will provide for my every need, never leave me, is my strength and even goes before me in each situation.  I don’t have to worry about my steps, only that I take the next one in front of me.  I’ve found great peace and joy as I turn tiring situations these past several days into moments of asking God what is he doing in my sons’ lives or ours; in asking God what it is He desires for me to teach or do for those around me instead of what He can do for me. 

There are so many other branches of this subject I could get wrappred up in writing about, but for now I just wanted to capture my thankfulness that God has allowed me to see my heart and has covered me with His grace and shown me His better way; the best way!  I always say that God is much bigger than any success or failure of mine.  For this I am continually thankful!  This week I have an extra big smile when I see that God is also much bigger than my pregnancy hormones and physical fatigue! 

Gavin and Wyatt’s favorite song is a perfect way to end this post:

“My God is so BIG, so STRONG, and so MIGHTY!  There is NOTHING my God can NOT do!!! “

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” ~Philippians 4:6-7~

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“No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man.

But God is faithful; who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able. But with the temptation you will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”   ~1 Corinthians 10:13~

“In your anger do not sin… and do not give the devil a foothold.” 

~Ephesians 4:26-27~

“The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.”  ~Proverbs 14:1~

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“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains quake at its swelling pride. Selah. The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our stronghold. Selah.” ~Psalm 46:1-3,7~

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strength you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”  ~Isaiah 41:10~

“And the LORD, He is the One who goes before you.  He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.”

~Deuteronomy 31:8~

“For God has not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind (self-control/calm).” ~2 Timothy 1:7~

“Commit your works to the LORD, and your thoughts will be established (he will establish your plans).”   ~Proverbs 16:3~

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“But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary in doing good.”

~2 Thessalonians 3:13~

“But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” ~Isaiah 40:31~

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” ~Matthew 11:28-30~

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“Love is patient, love is kind, it is not envious. Love does not brag, it is not puffed up. It is not rude, it is not self-serving, it is not easily angered or resentful. It is not glad about injustice, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

~1 Corinthians 13:4-7~