Dryness

LORD, I know You are out there, and I know You are here.
I remember You saying, ‘You are right here with me.’
I know of Your love, Your holiness,
And I know what Your peace and joy feel like in me.

I have no doubts and my trust and hope is in You,
And yet my soul is dry and fear of the uncertain takes over.
How can I feel dry when I know You are here?
Could there be a wall I’ve built that I am unaware?

If there be a wall, some fake protection from the pain,
Please LORD, remove it, break it all down.
If I have to march around the wall day after day blowing my horn,
I’ll sing Your praises knowing that soon it will fall.

I can’t go on without feeling You each day,
You in my heart is what completes me.
I miss Your unexplainable Joy and Peace you provide;
One that isn’t determined by our circumstances.

I know we are going through this journey for a reason,
Your plans are great and I trust in You.
But my fears are still there and the pain won’t go away,
How do I remain joyful while I wait? How do I embrace the pain?

What do I do with my thoughts and my days?
Thinking of children while waiting hurts to bad.
I miss the joy and happiness I felt not too long ago,
I have too much here to let it all go.

I’m thankful for my dear husband and friend,
I want to make sure I don’t throw away any time with him.
I want us to be ‘carefree’ and trusting,
Waiting together but not wishing time away.

Teach me to wait with grace and joy,
Break down this unforeseen wall.
I want to feel Your presence again,
And this dryness to be delivered by Your water.

Show me what to do,
I pray for clarity.
Heal my dryness,
And let me feel Your Peace and Joy again.