Lessons I Am Learning At the Park

Two pairs of little legs scurry to the steps and begin climbing. Higher and higher they climb, occasionally taking breaks to enjoy the view and play with each other. I, there mother, am not far behind them; right behind them to be precise. Smiles can be seen and giggles heard as they enjoy this new freedom and right of passage into childhood. After a few moments they press on across the jungle gym towards the shaking bridge.

My heart leaps to my throat as they pass an open section of the gym. Their physical developments are developing even faster than their special awareness at this stage. I know that they are fearless and cannot comprehend that a few steps away they can come into great danger. They smile at me as if to say, ‘come on Mama, this way.’ I smile back and talk about how much fun this is. My hands continually hovering above them, my heart beats stronger. We reach the shaky bridge; more giggles and daring stomping proceed. I quickly make sure this will hold our weight, only to laugh at my silliness. They smile at me and I smile back. We reach the slide. I explain to them to sit on their hinnies at all times as they slide down. They smile at me and down they go; giggling the whole way down the curvy slide.

I had to let them go. I had to let go of my fear and let them climb and slide. I had to give them the freedom to explore and live life, all while holding my breath. I think I prayed the whole time they were climbing and sliding that day. I know I pray each time they climb and slide still. How can ‘letting go’ be so hard?

I think of all the things our sweet sons will do in life, and all of the times I will have to step back, pray and let them go. I realize letting them play on the jungle gym is not that traumatic, but for me, as a first time mom, I realize just how hard ‘letting them go’ will be. I realize now new prayers I need to be praying. I remind myself yet again that they are God’s children entrusted to us. I remind myself He loves them more than anyone every will or we can even fathom. Thinking of someone loving my boys more than I do is hard to get my mind to grasp, but I know with all my heart, God’s love is even stronger than a mother’s!

I think of these lessons I’m learning at the park, and I thank God for teaching us in stages. I thank Him for preparing our hearts and giving us the strength along the way. I am reminded of the song I love by Mark Harris, ‘Find Your Wings’. It says, ‘It was only for a moment you were mind to hold… Let my love gives you roots and help you find your wings.’ I thank God for this time I have to hold my boys and thank Him for the strength to help them find their wings.