Parenting: We had it all figured out!

We had it all figured out. Well, we knew we didn’t have it ALL figured out, but we had a pretty good idea.

Jason and I have never been a fan of having ‘expectations’, but we are big into planning and trying to prepare the best you can for the future. We spent a lot of time during our 8 years together and 5 years of marriage before children talking about our future, our marriage and our children. We’d discuss our thoughts and views on different areas of parenting and with time, began to feel very confident in our ‘decisions’. We’ve always understood every child is different, and we thought we took this into account when ‘mapping out’ our parenting days.

It’d take me a very long time to write down all of our thoughts on parenting, and frankly, I just don’t have that time. I actually don’t have the time to write this, but eh, it’s been that kind of day…

We are strong believers in nurturing children and showering them with lots of love. We believe strongly in teaching and guiding our children each day; shepherding them to be precise. We teach them all about God and the world He created. We also believe that the parents are placed in charge by God and it is our responsibility to redirect and discipline when needed. From the time they are newborns, it is our job to love them and begin to guide them.

It sounds so perfect and simple as I write those words above. I think of all the discussions I’ve had and books I’ve read. I’ve thought of all the prayers and thoughts concerning parenting. And in many ways, it really is that simple. There isn’t one thing I’d change about our approach to parenting or our life together as a family of four, soon to be five!

No, there is nothing I’d change… But oh have my parenting thoughts taken a ride through reality! I realize that I don’t have it ALL figured out and that children are anything but predictable. I realize that I am thankful for our ‘plans and maps’, but I can do NOTHING apart from Christ. There are days when I feel like a complete failure, but still I know God can work all things for good for those who trust Him.

As amazing and happy as our sweet sons are, they too have very off days. The fact that there has been two children right from the very start amplifies EVERY area of parenting and forces us to jump into parenting feet first in the deep section; none of this getting your feet wet first as you do with one child. Something about having a sibling, and even more so, a twin, adds a whole other factor (both amazingly good and at times difficult) that I’ll post about some other day.

So what do we do when our precious children have a SCREAMING fit or will not obey? Exactly what we’ve always planned. No problem right?! What do we do when they won’t stop? Our plan A continued. Still no problem, right?! What do we do on the days when NOTHING works; when you’ve done everything, been consistent, and yet… NOTHING works? I’m seriously asking a question here; because there are days like today that all I know to do is pray, and sometimes it’s just to get through the day.

I feel some guilt as I write this. I good mom wouldn’t have days like this I hear. A good mom doesn’t get tired, weary or feel lost at times. I realize it’s satan’s voice I’m hearing. No, I won’t succumb to the guilt for feelings that push me closer to Christ and mold me into the woman I so want to be. For in my weakness He is still strong. Though my mind and body are tired, my heart is thankful. Though I do not have all the answers, He does and He will guide and provide. As long as we keep Christ at the center of our hearts each day, and as long as we draw closer to Him each day, each trial we go through serves a purpose. …I like that… I pray I find peace in the hard days knowing that He’s molding us and our children each day; molding us in His image with His loving hands.