Hormones...

Hormones.

I often wonder why God made hormones so 'extreme'.

I mean, testosterone causes men to be down right ridiculous sometimes. Who really in their right mind would like to watch football and get into a fight all while farting and talking about boogers? Only testosterone causes men to want to smell something that their friends just said was the most fowl smelling thing they have ever come across.

But then there is estrogen. In my opinion, the most illogical hormone ever... Only estrogen or fluctuating levels of it can cause one to cry over anything and everything and leave us wondering why we are crying... Only estrogen can cause us to be at the top of the world one minute and ready to bite every one's head off the next. How can the same hormone cause women to be nurturing one day and flat out obnoxious the next?

Controlling hormones has always been a 'fun activity' for me if you will. I consider myself a 'logical person' and thus I know that with God's help, I can fight those grumpy moods and allow my husband to live during that one week a month in which he has done nothing wrong but is always finding himself 'upset with'. Grumpiness I can fight. I've found it's simply over won by 'keeping my mouth shut'. In other words, if you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all! I might be quiet but at least I'm not regretting that I've shared that I think that everyone in the whole world is stupid and everything would be better if they just saw things like I did...! (God's Word speaks to us about many different areas in this last statement...I highly encourage us women to listen to that convicting voice when hormones are pushing us in other directions! It is always worth it!)

Grumpiness is one thing, but those stupid tears are totally different! There is nothing you can do to hold back those tears caused by seeing or hearing something sweet or sad. What's worse is when you can't stop crying and you have NO IDEA WHY... My poor husband had no idea what to think when after our first year of marriage I explained to him that I was crying for no reason. He just didn't see how that made any sense! And it doesn't! How can you 'feel fine' mentally but can't stop crying? Oh boy...

It's one thing to feel this way during that 'special week' as our grandmothers used to call it. But seriously, to feel this way non-stop... it's driving me nuts! Yesterday I cried at a Verizon Wireless commercial and I'm not even pregnant yet! The mom was letting her daughter go shopping in the mall alone for the first time... I'm crying now just thinking of it. Ugh, what a mess! I don't mean just aw, how sweet, but that's just down right sad and I want to grab my teddy bear and let out a good cry. But I can't... I am supposed to be able to overcome this right? Wrong! There is nothing I can do...

So after a month of taking the birth control in prep for the IVF cycle and now being on the first set of injections for almost two weeks, I can honestly say that these hormones are not getting any better! So I'm quiet sometimes (for if I don't have anything good to say...), I cry a lot over ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, and I am so very tired all the time. I can wake up feeling groggy, I'm up for about 2-3 hours and then I'm ready for bed again! I'm not depressed by any means, but I can literally sleep for 9 hours at night and then take two 2-3 hour naps during the day and be ready for bed again at 9... Too bad work gets in the way of this awesome schedule!

These hormones are getting the best of me and I'm not even to the 'good stuff' yet! After my appointment early this week, I'll find out if I can begin to take the next injections in the set of many. Maybe pregnancy will be 'easier' since I'm getting a taste of all this right now. If I have triplets though, I just know my poor husband will loose his best friend (that would be me!) for about 8 months and I'll be getting to know our bed a whole lot more...

Wishing us all well in a world full of hormones!