Seeking God's guidance, wisdom and discernment

As we have gone through this journey of infertility, Jason and I have been tested and grown more than we ever thought we would ever have to. Each step of the process has made us think beyond what we would have ever had to otherwise. It has really made us stop and think together about what we feel is not only ‘right and wrong’ in the eyes of God, but what is it that God is calling us to do or not. We realize that we can not take one step without asking for God’s direction.

When we first received all the test results back, we had to make the decision as to whether or not we would wait to conceive ‘naturally’ which could likely take another year or years or worse, never. We understand that conception is a ‘God thing’ and it will happen only when He is ready despite any health issues or lack of. But we also understand that He has blessed us with intelligence that has allowed technology and medicine to be what it is today. Just as God could cure a person with cancer without any human intervention, it is wise to often seek medical assistance and undergo treatment. We must never assume how God will work His miracles, as we might pass up the very opportunities or deny the path He wishes us to travel.

So we had to learn all about our ‘treatment options’ and then discuss together as God filled us with peace and uneasiness about certain aspects. We know that God’s paths are marked with peace and this we are thankful for. We also had to weigh the economic aspects of each treatment. So once we knew ‘the facts’ and what we thought was our ‘best options’, we then had to weigh it all out and pray about it. We had to look at each aspect of each part of the process to determine what we felt was wise and moral in God’s eyes versus what the world would have you believe or follow. God had led us to get tested early, God had lead us to this doctor and we knew God was now leading us to IVF…

One major decision we had to make after choosing IVF was how many eggs to fertilize.

Now Jason and I have always agreed that life begins at conception; once an egg and sperm are truly fertilized. Everything else is arbitrary; when the heart beats, when an arm, leg or finger is formed, when the head is formed, when the brain does x, y and z, when it kicks for the first time, when hair develops, etc… With this said, what I did before we even began to get tested at our fertility doctor was explain to her our position. We did not want to even consider talking with her if they were not going to honor our views and work with us in the future in these areas. She shared that she too was a Christian and would only do as we asked.

So, back to our decisions… We now had to decide how many babies could we have at one time that would be healthy for both mom and babies these days. After much prayer and research, we decided on fertilizing 3 eggs only.

They ‘explained to us’ that this ‘decreases our odds’ of conception. What they typically like to do is fertilize the number of eggs retrieved during surgery, normally about 6-20 and then pick the two healthiest embryos and transfer them back to the woman’s uterus. They end up freezing the other embryos for ‘future use’. We of course would have no such thing and again, will only have them fertilize the number of eggs we are having them transfer; three.

So then at another point we were faced with the option of possibly fertilizing the number of eggs that we were willing to have as children.

We could possibly fertilize five eggs, transfer 3 right now and 2 at another time after freezing. By doing this we could end up with 5 live children or if this IVF cycle didn’t work, then we could try again shortly without having to go through each step and the costs would be half of this first time. Sounds good, right? Nope; not what we felt God was leading us to do or was right for us in His sight. Even if we were willing to have 5 children, what if something happened to me or Jason between now and the time our other 2 babies were transferred back into my uterus? What then? Would we just have our children frozen and possibly discarded in the future if we were no longer here? No way. We don’t even like the idea of freezing, more or less leaving their fate so open like that. We rather trust in God and take only one step at a time. If it costs us more in the end, we know He will provide. Ultimately He has a plan and His ways are perfect. So, no freezing of embryos, eggs, sperm and only fertilizing 3!

We are not getting any genetic diagnosis performed. We are not selecting any qualities or checking for health issues. God has a plan for each life He conceives, and we can’t wait to be parents of the sweet precious lives He entrusts us with. We pray our babies are healthy, but trust in God completely. He loves us and our children more than our minds can fathom.

Did you know that just because a sperm meets an egg and ‘gets inside’, does not mean that fertilization occurs. You can have a sperm right in the middle of an egg and yup, nothing happens. Wow, that just proves how much God is a part of conception and that life really begins only once fertilization happens. Even if a doctor inserts a sperm into an egg during IVF, does not mean that fertilization occurs. So there is a chance that they could come back the next day and zero out of the three eggs could not be fertilized.

There have many other areas to consider and pray about along the way. We thank God for giving this opportunity to grow and learn to further trust in Him and rely on His guidance. It has not been easy, but I know He has a purpose. I am excited to see what that is! For now… IVF, here we come.